You're damned if you do and damned if you don't. Do what feels right for you.

A week ago I was having a debate on Facebook on my male friend’s page on something so ridiculous like Star Wars, and suddenly someone chimes in and says the “S” word; no, not shit, not sexy, nor were they referencing Superman, no, instead, that person felt it was completely ok to just say “slore.”

I was immediately disgusted and offended, not only because of the implications of the word, but because a woman was using it, as a way to describe her own gender. Clearly, this female, who I happened to know, was not using this derogatory term to describe me? Or was she?

About an hour later, the red notification alert came on; she posted something, possibly a response to my earlier question, so I quickly became very interested.  But to make matters worse her reply consisted of, “Oh and all women are slores,” followed by an LOL.

Really? You’re going to generalize all women and then just laugh about it?

It no longer offended me, it infuriated me, but I let it go because after spending almost two decades hanging out with this individual (who posted this comment), I knew exactly what she was doing, she was trying to get under my skin.

The truth is anyone could have said it, a guy or a girl, a stranger or a friend, and my reaction would have been the same. But now, a week after the incident, I came across an online article titled, “You Can Be Sexy and Smart: Blow Minds and Blow Guys (If you Want).”

Quickly the mere title had me cheering myself and my fellow mujeres on.  I busted my best Rosie the Riveter impression, followed by a big, “YES we CAN!”

But then I was taken back to that awful word, “slore,” a hybrid word made up by a person who probably had too much time on their hands, out of the words “slut” and “whore.”  I wondered, when, who, and why did someone correlate these words with such distasteful meanings and decide it was an appropriate term to call a certain type of woman? And why are some women like me so upset about it, while other females feel they can use the term interchangeably, as means to joke around with their lady friends, or as a way to belittle others?

In the piece, “Blow Minds and Blow Guys (If you Want),” by Kaitlyn Cawley, the author explores a similar question. She begins by contesting a popular catch phrase linked to hip-hop rapper, Drake, that says “Open books, not legs. Blow minds, not guys.”

In it she asks, “What disallows me from blowing my term paper AND the next available gentleman out of the water? Why can’t I be a scientist with a sex life? Or a doctor who likes dick? A professor with a penchant for pussy?”

She clearly ridicules Drake’s sentiment early on, and not because she is entertained by the idea of a woman having to be so proper, but because she along with many other women alike believes that yes, you CAN have your cake and eat it too. In other words, a woman can be educated and also freely explore her sexuality without automatically downgrading her to a second class citizen.

So to the female who felt it was necessary to call me and the rest of the women of this world “slores,” what gives? Why are you making yourself a part of this cultural feeling that claims that women should be ashamed of what they do with their bodies?

I find it particularly interesting, but yet disgusting that those with the double X chromosome find it ok to throw this term around like if it was just any ordinary word. I think we should know better.  We should know so because the women of our past have fought long and hard to pave the way for our rights. After all, weren’t the 70s all about burning your bra, being free, and making love and not war?

So to all the ladies who have been falsely accused of being a slut, a whore, or a combination of both, Cawley makes one strong statement…

“Women, you’re not one dimensional.  Don’t limit yourself; you can be smart AND pretty; funny AND sexy.  Your sexuality isn’t something that detracts from the other facets of your being.  Be as smart and as sexual as you want to be…understand that you should never be limited by your gender or restricted by social norms that were put into place to discourage who you are and what you can and want to be.”

It’s 2013, maybe we all need to start burning our panties instead. And you know what? I got a vagina AND a brain, and I’m not afraid to use either one of them.